||[May. 18th, 2010|08:04 am]
Today is a good day.
When I got pregnant with E, at around the time of implantation I had a very strong experience over a couple of hours when I felt her spirit/soul/being entering my body, and hers. I got a wonderful sense of some aspects of her personality - aspects that are very much there today, although of course she is so much more than them too.
Last night I felt the same thing happen for this baby. She has arrived. She is very different to Ember, though there is the same thoughtfulness and philosophical side. I felt much more of that with this new energy though, and less of the physical exuberance, verging on clumsiness that E embodies. I also felt that there will be a lot of sharing between E and this little one, that they have a lot to teach each other and the potential for a very deep spiritual connection, almost as though E's presence in this family was the main reason for this little soul to choose us. And yes, they felt very feminine.
So I am happy today. I'm not just carrying around a little bundle of extra cells, but I can now feel the presence of another person here, in me, and in our family. And it feels as though the presence of that little soul is a real indicator that this pregnancy will stick around, because there's now a person there who really wants to experience this life, who will fight for it and not give up easily. Not to mention the fact that the line on the test today was much darker again than any of the others, and I haven't had any spotting at all for the last 24 hours. I'm now officially late for my period and am off to the doctor later today to get referred to the midwifery team.
This is really happening, on every level. And that makes me very happy.