I started writing this journal in early 2004, when my partner and I were in our third month of trying for a baby. We're both women, so we were having to do it using donated sperm. At the time, we were lucky enough to have a very close friend who was willing to donate to us so things seemed like they were going to work out for us before too long. Of the two of us, it was my partner we were inseminating, and I was going to be the non-bio-mum of our child, hence the name for this journal.
Since then, we've been on a rollercoaster ride of indescribably emotional ups and downs, and through more trauma than anyone should have to. This journal was with us all the way.
This journal is deliberately anonymous. It's a space to vent my frustrations, to document my journey, to explore my experiences and how they contrast with those of my partner. We're walking this road together, but as only one of us will be carrying this child and going through the physical challenges that are involved with that process, our experiences of it are an interesting combination of very similar and wildly different. This is my space. My posts are often emotional, and always honest. They are also 99% public. There is precious little information freely available about what it is like to be a nonbiomum, so I choose to keep this space as open as I safely feel I can so that these words do get out there and are available to those who may wish to read them. Please respect this space for this reason, and take any prejudice elsewhere. Thank you.
You can see the first journal entry, from late January 2004 by clicking here so you can scroll through the entries in order should you want to. It may help the rest of the entries make more sense, but be warned - there's a lot to read! Alternatively, you can see the most recent entries first by clicking here.